


Epitaph Jokes

by Lvamp1192



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, Eating Disorders, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Sirius Black, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24653275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lvamp1192/pseuds/Lvamp1192
Summary: Sirius is not okay. Hasn't been for awhile but he could usually pretend for awhile while he was at Hogwarts. This last summer though had been his worst and he is spiraling inside himself trying to pretend on the outside. it seems to be working on everyone but Remus.
Kudos: 60





	1. First night back

**Author's Note:**

> so the beginning of this didnt come out as i wanted but i promise as i get more into it, it will get better and i can go back and fix this. Please comment if you read it helps!  
> stay safe guys!

_SIRIUS POV_

_“What do you think you are doing?!”_

_“Hanging around with those mud-bloods.”_

_“Blood traitors.”_

_“They’re better than you lot!”_

_“CRUCIO!”_

_I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming, the last thing I was going to do was give them the satisfaction. Still I couldn’t stop the strangled noises from escaping my throat. The echoing of my mother’s laughter ringing in my head as I lost consciousness._

“Sirius..”

A broken sound choked out of Sirius’ throat as he thrashed around.

“PADFOOT.” A voice whispered harshly. Sirius threw himself to a sitting position, his fist colliding with something close to him. Slowing his breathing down, Sirius looked around and saw that he was not in the horror filled walls of Grimmauld Place but in the dormitory at Hogwarts. Safe. The silence was broken by a voice, “OW. Merlin Padfoot that was my face. Are you okay?”

“Yeah fine, shit sorry Moony, shouldn’t sneak up on me like that!”

“You sounded like you were hurt, came to check.”

“Sounds like you were trying to find a reason to get in my bed.”

Remus looked down and realized he was sitting on his bed and jumped to a standing position awkwardly mumbling out, “just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Fine Moony, go back to bed.” Sirius said rolling over and staring at the still dark window trying to stay as still as possible until he felt Remus’ presence leave. Remus made a non-committal noise and walked back to his own bed. Sirius awoke to the sounds of the other three noisily getting ready for breakfast, the exciting chatter of their first full day back at Hogwarts. He was exhausted and wanted to stay in the solitude of his bed for longer but he knew he only had minutes before his friends were dragging him out of bed to join them in the Great Hall. He sighed as he got up and quickly plastered a smile on his face that didn’t quite meet his eyes and directed it towards the three mauraders as he put on his robes.

“So Prongs, is this the year you leave Lily alone finally, or do we have some new quest to win over red?” he asked slightly dramatically.

“Ah Padfoot, this is the year for sure. I can feel it, wait until I tell her all about my summer! I’ve matured. She’ll come to her senses.”

Everyone laughed and started heading towards the Great Hall, Sirius let his smile fall as he shuffled behind the group, unaware of Remus sneaking a look at him filled with questions and concerns. 


	2. The Day of Fog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of classes

Sirius watched as his friends talked animatedly, hands thrashing about, over what they had done over the summer. He chuckled softly to himself but it was filled with accidental disdain. He couldn’t relate to what they were feeling so he focused on his plate of sausages and eggs cutting them up to the point where they were basically pulverized, as long as he kept busy he could ignore his thoughts and memories. He felt an emptiness he wasn’t completely used to and it left him feeling cold and numb, he drank four cups of coffee hoping the warm liquid would replace some of the cold he felt deep in his bones. He tried to pay attention to the conversations happening around him so he could smile and laugh at the appropriate times but he kept spacing out feeling like he was floating above himself, he snapped out of it when he felt a pair of hazel eyes studying him.

“Well I should probably get going, Minnie’s my first class, can’t keep her waiting ya know how she gets.” Sirius said with a smile and a wink before hurrying out of the Great Hall, leaving his friends slightly confused but ultimately unphased as they too left for their respective classes. Sirius sat as far back in the classroom as he could and for once tried not to draw attention to himself trying to make the day go by as quickly as possible so he could lay back in his bed and have an excuse to not be bothered by anyone; the guise of sleep. He just needed a good nights sleep to reset to be able to feel again. To push the empty feeling aside and connect with his friends like he’s done several times before. This time seemed more intense though, like he would never stop drowning and there was nothing he could do. He pushed that thought away though when he realized that students had started to leave class. Was it over already? He hadn't heard a word that was said but as it was the first class of the year he doubted it was really important. He knew he really should meet up with the others before potions but he was suddenly exhausted so he snuck through the crowds of students and into the Griffyndor dormitory. He collapsed on his bed still fully clothed and fell asleep almost instantly but the sleep was anything but refreshing.


	3. Normalcy?

“Padfoot, what are you doing sleeping? C’mon it’s dinner time.” Prongs said as he pulled the blankets off a sleeping Sirius.   
“I was tired Prongs, need to keep that energy up if I’m gonna follow your ridiculous plans too woo Red.”  
“Dick.” replied Prongs throwing a pillow that hit Sirius directly in the face.  
“Oi, it’s not my fault you haven't just given up yet.” Sirius said with a laugh that for the first time in a while felt normal, genuine.   
He sat at the table across from Remus like always Peter at his side, joining in on the conversations happening around him. He filled his plate with all kinds of food he animatedly cut up while discussing their next big prank. He downed four cups of tea letting the warm liquid make him feel like he was full. He looked up and locked eyes with Remus who smiled smally at him but looked inquisitively at Sirius, which made Sirius shiver.   
“Prongs, got any new Quidditch strategies or will we recycle old ones, kind of like you do when trying to win over your ‘soulmate’?”   
“I have many new ones, I’m thinking instead of a bat this year we just use your face.”  
“Nah mate, I think we both know I’m too beautiful for that, have you tried putting yourself there, it could only help.”  
“I’ll get you back for that Padfoot, just you wait, when you least expect it, I’ll be there. Watch. Your. Back.”   
“Oh I’m so scared,” Sirius choked out between laughs and jumped up and bounced on the balls of his feet, “in fact I’m going to go hide right now. Start building Prongs traps and the like. I’ll see you all later.”   
Sirius was still giggling slightly when he made it out into the corridor but the feeling subsided really quickly and he was met with the dread he had successfully avoided for a couple hours. He entered the dormitory and changed out of his robes and into a pair of ripped black jeans, a white t-shirt, and his leather jacket. He let his hair fall back into his face as he searched his trunk for his paraphernalia: muggle cigarettes and some firewhiskey. He put them into his jacket and headed to the one place he was sure he wouldn’t be disturbed by anyone at least for awhile, the black lake.


	4. when drunkness equals normality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is appreciated  
> i dont own any of the characters  
> i hope someone enjoys this.

He drank about half a bottle of FIrewhiskey and had smoked about a half a pack of cigarettes while staring at the glossy sheen of the lake in front of him. His thoughts had finally quieted down to where he was mostly thinking and feeling nothing, but not in the same way as before. This time the feeling was in his control, a mere distraction, and he wished he could live in that moment forever. He wondered if this is what other people normally felt minus the haze of the cigarettes and alcohol, is this what it felt like to be content? He closed his eyes slightly rocking back and forth unaware of the sound of approaching footsteps.

“Padfoot, what are you doing?”

He jumped at the voice, his eyes shot open and he flinched away from the sound albeit delayed from his intoxication.

“MOONY!” Sirius declared loudly once he realized who was there.

“Padfoot…?”

“What are you doing here Moony?” Sirius asked drunkenly cheerful.

“Looking for you, you left dinner and disappeared. Waited for you for awhile but then looked at the map.”

“Aw, were you worried about me Moony?” Sirius taunted.

“Trouble seems to find you I’ve learned Padfoot. Best not to leave you alone for too long.”

“I’m not alone Moony…there’s the Giant Squid.” Sirius laughed.

“My mistake. Why are you drunk Sirius?”

“Just wanted some time away from everything. Plus it is the first week back might as well start it off right.”

“By drinking alone? Avoiding your friends?”

“I’m not alone…I’ve already told you, I’ve got the Giant Squid. I’m not avoiding anyone, I knew someone would show up eventually, kind of figured it would be you Rem, it’s always you isn’t it?”

“Ah yes the Squid again. Are you gonna tell me what’s going on Sirius?”

“Everything’s wrong now Remus. Too far gone, I’m too far gone. I don’t think anything I do now will really matter. My blood is poison because I’ll always be a Black.” Sirius slurred heavily not breaking eye contact with the lake in front of him as he chugged more of the Firewhiskey which would be a mistake.

“Sirius, everything you do matters and you’re not your family or their decisions simply because you share a surname. You are not poison. You have a bigger heart than you let most people know.” Remus replied while taking the bottle away from Sirius.

Sirius looked at Remus and tried to focus on which Remus was the real Remus but the world started spinning too quickly and waves of nausea hit Sirius like waves crashing on a beach. He somehow stumbled to his feet and away from the many Remus that were sitting with an expression that Sirius couldn’t make out, everything was too blurry, too fake, he stumbled a few steps away and threw up violently the bitter taste of firewhiskey in his throat.

“Aguamenti” Remus said somewhere in the distance. He handed Sirius the bottle of Firewhiskey now filled with water, “Drink this Padfoot. It’ll help.”

Sirius took the bottle and slowly sipped the water taking away some of the bitter taste that was left in his throat.

“Let’s get you inside.” Remus put his arm around Sirius supporting most of him as he led him back into the castle. Remus led them through the castle going an unusual route to try to avoid Mrs. Norris or Filch who were bound to be wandering around the castle looking for students out of bed. Finally they arrived in their dormitory, Remus supporting more and more of Sirius as the grogginess and drunkenness caught up to Sirius. Sirius had been drunkenly rambling the whole walk but Remus was so focused on the task of not getting caught he hadn’t really paid attention to any of it. Remus sat Sirius on the bed and removed his shoes before helping him to lay down. He conjured up another glass of water and left it by Sirius’ bed for when he sobered up. He pulled the blanket over Sirius and whispered, “Night Padfoot.” Remus started to walk to his own bed when a hand grabbed his wrist making Remus turn around. “I don’t care if they hate me forever, I’d always choose you.”

Remus now wishing he had paid attention to what Sirius had been rambling about just squeezed his hand and responded, “Everything will be alright Padfoot.”

Sirius had quickly fallen asleep and Remus laid awake in his bed wondering what the fuck had just happened.


	5. Where do I fit if not in my body?

Sirius woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and an air of confusion about where he was and how he got there but he brushed the thoughts off as the sunlight peeked through the curtains making his head throb more. He looked over to his nightstand and saw the water there and gulped it down probably much faster than he should have. He dragged himself to his feet and drowsily got dressed, the dorm was quiet so he assumed everyone was already at breakfast. He had time he could avoid going to breakfast and seeing anyone until he went to his first class. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and made his way back to the Black Lake where he could try to piece together how he got back to the dorm the night before. He spent most of the time staring out into the lake before he’d actually even smoked a cigarette holding it and the lighter in his hand the whole time.   
He finished his cigarette pulled himself out of his trance and made his way back to the castle, he couldn’t miss class but he had no real desire to go either. He was pulled out of his thoughts about class by a familiar voice, “Oi there you are Padfoot, missed you at breakfast. Moony said you had a hell of a night. Who was the lucky girl that kept you out so late?”  
“Yeah slept in… and you know I never kiss and tell Prongsy. How bout you any progress with Red?” Sirius said while ruffling Prongs’ hair and giving Moony a look of gratitude, pieces of last night and Moony coming to get him flashing through his head. He tried to stay focused on Prongs’ reply but his mind wouldn’t stay on track he was thinking of too many different things at once. He thought of summer and all the cruel things his parents had said and done and how much he deserved so much of that. He was hungry too he thought about that a lot and was planning what he would eat at dinner and the calorie count of everything. Then back to Moony and how he always knew where he was and when he needed someone to how much he loved Moony but he pushed that thought out because he couldn’t love Moony, he deserved better than him. He deserved the world. Then back to his parents, his thoughts were one nauseating circle that he felt like he couldn’t break out of. He would just float above his thoughts and his world in the waves of dizzying thoughts and low nutrition levels.


	6. Stop Running

Class passed somehow too fast and too slow. He had tuned it in and out luckily it was still the first week so there wasn’t much required of them as far as actual practice but things had always come naturally for him anyway so he knew he could skate on that for awhile. The one thing he couldn’t tune out was the hazel eyes that kept glancing in his direction filled with something he couldn’t quite read but he wished they would leave him alone so he could sink further into himself where he belonged. James met up with Remus and Sirius when their classes ended, professors had learned awhile back to make sure James and Sirius didn’t have every class together if they wanted to get anything productive done. It was understood that Remus grounded Sirius though no one ever said it out loud. The trio waited for Peter to catch up in the courtyard. Sirius leaned against a pillar counting down the hours to lunch and his plan to hopefully avoid it, while James rattled on his next idea to prank Severus to keep him on his toes and out of their way. “What you think Padfoot?”   
“Any prank sounds tops, doesn’t it? Anything you talk about that isn’t about Red count me in. I can only handle your periods of absolution desperation in small amounts.”   
James stuck his tongue out but smiled, “See Moony he’s in. Come on it won’t work without you…and Wormtail obviously.”  
“Fine James! Though I was quite hoping we’d grow out of this, this year.” Remus replied with no actual conviction and a wink towards Sirius, which made Sirius smile, genuinely but Remus always did. That was a fact that scared him more than anything, more than his parents and their pureblood mania, more than the state of the world, and more than the hunger that was eating him alive. Wormtail finally arrived and they all slunk off to lunch complaining about what professors are guaranteed to ruin their pranks and assign the most homework. Most of lunch was spent with James trying and failing to get Red to understand how much them being together could change the very world. Lily spent most of the time ignoring him and discussing studying habits with Remus. Wormtail discusses pranks and his crushes. Sirius spends most of the time cutting up his food and adding quips here in there to the conversations that were happening around him. He was cutting up what used to be a slice of chicken when Remus interrupted, “Mad at the chicken?”  
Sirius jumped slightly, “What? No, just spaced out for a minute…” he picked up a piece of the chicken and put it in his mouth trying to ignore the way it completely nauseated him. He ate a few more pieces to keep up the charade because if there was one thing all blacks excelled at it was charades. The rest of the day passed mostly uneventful and the still of the night had come. It was the time Sirius dreaded the most. Everything was still and quiet and there was nowhere left to escape to: no conversations, no movement, and no plans. The night was filled with thoughts, nightmares, and hunger pains. Sirius knew sleep was out of the question until he was completely knackered otherwise there’d be time for nightmares to form and change everything, so he went to the Astronomy Tower. The seemingly endless expanse of stars made him feel more at peace while he chainsmoked and warred within himself. After 3 hours of alphabetizing classes, constellations, professors, and professions Sirius grew angry at the fact that he was still wide awake. His stomach cramping in pain he let out a bitter laugh, almost wishing for Orion’s signature punches that often left Sirius unconscious or even his mother’s numerous times at the Cruiciatius Curse which ultimately left him floating in unconscious nothingness. However, instead of that a familiar voice broke the still of the night.  
“Couldn’t sleep?”  
“Not tired. Was trying to figure out a way to get Prongs latest idea work with the least amount of punishment.”  
“Right. ‘course.”  
“What?”  
“What’s goin’ on with you?”  
“What do you mean? Nothing, just couldn’t sleep.”  
“What happened over the summer Sirius?”  
“Same ol’ same ol’.”  
“Something is different this time Pads.”  
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m fine.”  
“You’re a fucking ghost mate.” the words echoed against the still air.  
“I’m fine Moony. Promise.”  
“I won’t watch you disappear Sirius. Talk to us. Me, Peter, or James. Anyone, talk to anyone.”  
“I’d never disappear Rem. C’mon it’s late. Let’s head to bed.”


	7. Can't Hide From the Wolf

The walk back to the dorm was filled with uncomfortable silence, thick filled with words that needed to be said but not uttered, because now wasn’t the time. It never was the time. The only word the whole trip was the password to enter the Gryffindor common room. When they got up to the dorm everyone else was asleep so Remus took th4e opportunity to try to get Sirius to say something bout what was going on behind his eyes.  
“Siri, will you tell me what’s going on with you?”  
“Just couldn’t sleep Rem, don’t get all mother hen about it.”  
“I’m not James, you can’t just flash a smile and a joke and expect me to believe it. I see you.”  
“There’s nothing here to see.” he whispered back pulling the curtain around his bed effectively ending the conversation. Remus sighed and gazed out the window, tomorrow was a full moon, he’d almost forgot the ache in his bones and how restless he felt in his worry for his disappearing friend. He gave Sirius’ bed another glance before attempting to go to sleep.   
Sirius awoke earlier than everyone else and slipped out of bed and took a shower. He felt detached from everything, which worried him but at the same time calmed him. It made him feel a type of invincibility, nothing could touch him if he didn’t feel alive. He wondered if he held onto the feeling long enough if he’d disappear with it. Be erased from everyone’s memory be burned out like the other members of his family on the wall. He wondered if Remus would remember him at full moons, if the wolf would have a longer memory. He would disappear quicker if he could but deep down he know that Remus would need him, that he could hurt him and he could never hurt Remus. He shrugged off the thought and got ready for the day. He layered up cause he couldn’t shake the chill that seems to have taken up root in his bones.   
“Padfoot, you coming to breakfast?” Wormtail asked putting his tie on.  
“On my way.” he replied giving him a small smile.  
They sat in their usual places in the Great Hall where James was leading a hushed conversation about how they were going to sneak out to join Remus at the shack. Sirius didn’t pay much attention he’d get there it didn’t much matter how. He’d never leave Remus without everyone in the worst time of his life regardless of how Sirius felt about life. He was drinking another cup of coffee to help him stay awake, he’d only been up twenty minutes but he already felt like going back to sleep. As if on cue, Remus passed Sirius a plate with all his favourite things on it, in small portions with a tiny nod of encouragement. Sirius rested his hand over Remus’ grabbing the plate and for a second he felt grounded but it was gone the second he grabbed the plate. He slowly ate the food and managed to get down about half of it before it was time to go to class. His thoughts swirled all day and for the first time in awhile he felt an emotion and it wasn’t what he expected. Sirius Black was afraid. He didn’t know why which was the worst part but the whole day he felt like he should be constantly looking over his shoulder. The fear kept him fueled for most of the day so he held onto it but it used a lot of the reserved energy he had, so he couldn't keep the dizziness at bay. Every time he stood he swayed slightly but he had to keep it together for tonight so that’s what he did for the rest of the day. Once night hit he met his friends and they executed their plan to meet Remus. The night started normal enough, keep the wolf occupied so he didn’t hurt Remus but soon the wolf started acting strangely. Instead of being angry like normal or needing a distraction it seemed stoic and fixated on Padfoot. The wolf circled Padfoot nudging his sides then letting out a mournful howl then nuzzled his snout against Padfoot’s ears. The wolf paced around Padfoot until it was time for him to leave. As soon as they were out of the shrieking shack Padfoot took off leaving his friends to take in all that had happened. Sirius was doing what he did best running from the present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback please!


	8. The Master of Deflection Vs the Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ive been MIA writers block and the pandemic really messed me up. feedback would be great  
> as always dont own the characters

Sirius ran out of sight before slowing to a walk where he paced, confused. He didn’t know what to do with himself or what to think about last night. He knew he should get back before Remus asked where he was because he knew Remus would assume the worst, that the wolf had hurt him. Sirius wasn’t even sure what the wolf had done or what the wolf had seen in him. He started back to the castle, if he hurried he could be on the way to his first class without running into any of the marauders, and he could avoid conversation for a little while longer.  
He walked into charms and sat in the back next to the wall so no one could surround him and opened his books, twirling his quill in his fingers focusing on how each feather turned in the air, how it once helped something fly far away from where they were, now he held it and it was unusable and that thought angered him slightly. Trapped, the thought made him scoff slightly, because it reminded him of home, so lost in his own disdainful thoughts he hadn’t noticed Remus sitting next to him. A rare sight after the full moon, usually he was in the hospital wing with some type of injury, but then he remembered the wolf circled him all night. Not an injury to be found.   
“What happened last night?” Remus asked. “Everyone just keeps saying nothing but I didn’t have to see Pomfrey and you were gone….Sirius what did I do?”  
The concerned etched deep in Remus’ ramblings made Sirius’ heart ache.  
“Nothing happened Moony, really nothing. We’re all fine.” Sirius tried to say as comforting and as firm as possible.  
Remus just looked away confused and almost sad in a way, like he had just figured out his life and it all came crashing down again. Sirius put his hand on Remus’ shoulder, “I wouldn’t lie to you, you know that.”  
This seemed to help relieve some of Remus’ unease as he focused on the lesson Flitwick was giving and Sirius went back to focusing on all the unfair things that compared to quills. He had made a list in his notebook instead of the class notes, which he had angled closer to the end of the desk so Remus couldn’t read it if he glanced over. Everyone knew Sirius didn’t really take notes but Remus didn’t think anything of it assuming Sirius was just used to copying notes for him after the full moons. Class ended and Sirius walked out instep with Remus and with no sight of the other two marauders Remus took it as his only shot to say something to Sirius about his behaviors since they returned from the summer. Sirius is normally off for the first month or so when they return but he’s never seemed this off, and while no one else seemed to be aware of it Remus felt something was very wrong.   
“Padfoot, the other night….you were very drunk. Any particular reason?”  
“It was a Tuesday and I was bored Moony.” he replied with a whine that told Remus the Sirius he knows is still in there underneath whatever was holding him down right now.   
“It seemed like more than that Pads, I’m just worried about you, i know the summers are difficult but it seems like you’ve come back different.”  
“What about you Moony? How was the summer? The moons?”  
“.…it was difficult, it’s good to be back. You haven't answered my question.”  
Sirius felt his heart pang at Remus response, “It’s good to be back, the real question, the one you don’t seem to be asking my dear Moony, Is will this finally be the year that Prongs wins Red? You two are friends is he getting closer to actually having a shot, cause I really don’t know how many more years I can listen to him pine.”  
“I haven’t had the time to -”  
“Has James finished planning that prank? Maybe I should be in charge of that! He uses up most of his brain for Quidditch and Red, losing all that space for pranks! Might be more up to me and Wormtail. So probably going to need you to have a bigger role there Moons.”  
“He said he needed some-”  
“is that Prongs now?”  
Remus watched as Sirius took off towards James, he sighed and ran to meet them. Deflection was a tactic both Remus and Sirius were very familiar with.


	9. The Tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudos and the bookmarks  
> I hope someone likes this!  
> i dont own any characters.

The boys sat in the common room planning their next massive prank one that if executed correctly would take weeks and give them weeks of detention if caught. Sirius was writing notes on a spare piece of parchment his hand shaking, so he fidgeted a lot and kept talking so none of his friends noticed.   
“You know what would make this better?” Sirius said digging into his trunk, “If we cleared our heads with some Firewhisky.”  
“Mate, how’d you get that?!” Prongs asked excitedly.  
“I’m a Black Prongsy, it’s not that hard.”  
“Pass it here!” Prongs replied.  
They passed the bottle around the circle, even Wormtail and Moony partaking a bit, but nobody was on the same level as Sirius. After three hours everyone had fallen asleep except Remus and Sirius who had made their way to the Astronomy Tower. They sat looking up at the many stars not saying much, Sirius still clutching the now empty bottle of Firewhisky.   
“Did you know Sirius is the brightest star?” Sirius asked  
“...No, makes sense though.” Remus replied with a laugh.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“Have you met you? Everyone always knows when you’ve arrived.”  
“Someone has to liven this place up Rem.”  
“Oh and that falls on just your shoulders does it? Just as well, couldn’t imagine any more of you. I think Hogwarts would explode, at the very least Filch.”  
“Eh probably do him some good to lighten up”  
“...Or stop his heart.”  
“At least it’d answer the question if he had one.” Sirius said laughing.  
Remus smiled at the sky, hoping that this side of Sirius would last outside of the alcohol. The side of Sirius he was used to, not this shroud he could barely recognize. It wouldn’t be too much longer before James also realized something about their friend was off but maybe just maybe this was a breakthrough. Sirius was back.   
Remus thoughts were broken by the sound of a lighter flicking and the sound of Sirius inhaling the first puff of a cigarette. Remus scoffed in disapproved but let out a small laugh knowing Sirius only had the lighter cause it pissed his parents off to have anything muggle related.   
“You want one?” Sirius asked holding out the pack.  
“I suppose, it’s been awhile.” Remus said still being buzzed enough to think better of it.   
“Should’ve smuggled more whisky, James drank too much.” Sirius said wobbling a little.  
“Think you’ve had enough there Pads.”  
“Never enough Remus. I’m a Black, we can drink our body weight, I’m pretty sure its requirement three in the family’s never-ending list of requirements.”  
“Yeah, well shouldn’t be too hard these days.”  
“What?”  
“You’ve gotten thinner.”  
“...And how would you know that?”  
“I have eyes, Sirius.”  
“Then you’re admitting Moony, you’ve been checking me out.”  
“Yes!”  
Sirius held back laughter while looking at Moony with his eyebrows raised, waiting for Moony to catch up to what he’d just said.  
“Wait no…not like that. You know what I mean Padfoot.”  
“No, no Moons I really don’t, but if you wanted a closer look all you have to do is ask.” Sirius said putting his hand on Remus shoulder.   
“I-I…. That’s-”  
“You’ve gotten taller.” Sirius said with a laugh pushing off Remus’s shoulder and throwing his cigarette off the tower and heading back inside leaving Remus still flustered sitting on the edge of the tower.


End file.
